we broke up.. on our 100th day.. 2 weeks ago from today..

sunday.. for 2 weeks i thought about it and i wont ever let myself be that vulnerable again..

i loved her. i love her.. i willl love her.. maybe i will find someone like her.. maybe i wont..

she told me that she cant give me another chance.. and that this is it..

its over..

our last fight was over friendships.. why i didnt think of my friends as important..

i think all my friends are important.. but i think she is teh most important thing in my life..

i'm sorry she didnt feel that way... and if she did.. there is no way of knowing now..

this is my last goodbye.. i guess i cant tell her face to face..

good bye.. yura...

osaka, japan... met in seoul korea.. story to tell my kids.. my frist love, my first gf, my first everything.. and my first break up.. i dont wish this pain on anyone...

these past 100 days have been the best days of my life.. and i wouldnt trade it for the world..

and if i had to do it over again.. i will.. without a second thought.. love and lost.. but can find that love again..

i'm thankful for everything she has shown me and given me.. and i regret i cant do anymore for her..

you made me a better person.. and i am thankful for that.. i love you.. yura ko... if we meet again.. i will still love you..

stand out

i wish i could have stood out for you..
when you look into the crowd.. do u see me too..
when i pass by do you take a glance..
or should i pass by again for a second chance..
i wish i stood out.. above the crowd..
when the roars dies down.. i'll scream out loud..
when everything turns from black to white...
i'll be there in red next to the light...
i'll sing in front of a crowd if you'll notice me...
sing a love song for you down on bended knee..
buy u 100 dozen roses and send it to your house..
i'll buy u 10 karat diamond ring if u'd be my spouse..
but one thing i want is to stand out to you..
not blend in wit people that u once knew.
i wanna be the only one thats in ur eye...
i wanna stand out so it can be just you and i.

sorry that i loved you

anyone going to korea this summer? or to bi's concert?

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness;only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate,violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction... The chain reaction of evil -- hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars -- must be broken.." --Dr. Martin Luther King.

i think its funny how this nation reacts. when a white kid shoots up his/her school.. they blame it on music, parents, movies, entertainment, teachers.. any scape goat they can find.. but when this korean kid shoots up his school.. its automatically cus he's korean? great reasoning to the people of this nation.. everything in this nation is about race.. first thing on the news i heard when this tragedy happened was "terrorist".. is that the best our government can come up with? always blaming other nations for things that happen here?

i think its no one's fault.. its the kid's problem. he was mentally unstable. you cant say it was the media or parents or even his nationality.. the kid had issues.. he needed help..

it is no one's fault but everyone's fault... the gvernment sold him the gun.. twice.. why would you sell a "nice, polite" person a gun? if he was nice he wouldn't need a gun right? and the way kids are brought up now-a-days.. i guess its hard.. they are taught to stand-out yet told to fit-in.. they are told to patience is a virtue but everything around says that everything comes and goes fast.. they are told money can't buy happiness but without money you cant do anything ither.. this world is based on double standards and then people wonder why kids go crazy.. his parents probably knowing korean parents might've pressured him.. he had no social life.. he couldn't get a date.. every little thing he came in contact with probablypushed him over the edge.. but you cant blame any of that.. because the kid has to live(die) wit that responsibility..  oh wellz.. the quote up there is good for this situation.. things might go bad for koreans.. things might not... but lets not escalate the problem with more violence..